Well.
It's been about a month since I last wrote, which is odd because November had me very blog-crazy. And my neglect isn't so much due to the ample time I now have and the fact that I no longer need a procrastination outlet, but also because I have needed time to think. The last few posts back there were getting a little bit haywire, with no head, tail, or middle really. Reading them back again made me realise I was lacking clarity. There is nothing that makes me feel more uncomfortable...
So I figure, it's best to start the new year with a clear mind. And after spending the afternoon cleaning to the sound of 'Where the Light Is' I'm feeling pretty ok.
I think 2010 has been one of, if not THE biggest year of my life. We were so wrong thinking year 12 was the ultimate struggle. This year has brought with it a lot of confusion, challenges, sadness, more confusion, love and friendship. It felt like one of those in-between years that aren't huge, but are hugely important in getting you to wherever you want to go.
Granted, I made a fair few mistakes, I do have regrets, but at the same time I learnt more about myself than I expected to, and I have learnt the importance of examining life a little bit closer at times, as well as the importance of ignoring finer details. I have learnt that hurting, and being hurt by those you love is an unfortunate inevitable reality, and you have to figure out how to deal with the aftermath. I have learnt that I need more guidance than I allow myself to think. I've learnt I can be alarmingly self-sufficient at times. I've experienced new kinds of loneliness, in the centre of a crowd, and in an empty room. I know I'm not quite there yet... but I'd like to think I'm on the right track. That, said, I'm nervous as all hell for what's to come, but quietly excited too.
So, for 2011, I have a few simple resolutions:
1. To be on time
2. To eat breakfast
3. To give myself space
and finally,
4. To smile
They aren't insane, and I reaaally hope I manage to stick to them especially the first one, but I think there's plenty of merit in taking baby steps.
So, good luck to all of you for all the years ahead. Let's hope 2011 brings fulfillment, happiness and love :)
