'But he has something... not a glow exactly, but some air of secrecy that you want to penetrate, a kind of fast-track competence or a know-how that you would like to have rub off on you.
He appears connected, he knows how to get on, and you feel that if you are close to him he will get on for the both of you..'
'I don't mind being the stolen stardust that sprinkles you with second-hand importance. I get my revenge on him and at the same time get to feel more cared for by you'
Wrote a bunch more. Net crashed.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Exhausting
I'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired.
But i can't sleep.
i have to finish this, i have to read that, i have to reply to this message, call that person, make note of this fact, freak out, 3 mini-heart attacks and 4 bouts of nausea.
50 things to worry about before breakfast.
I'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired.
Can't think, or i'll crumble.
I'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired.
But i can't sleep.
i have to finish this, i have to read that, i have to reply to this message, call that person, make note of this fact, freak out, 3 mini-heart attacks and 4 bouts of nausea.
50 things to worry about before breakfast.
I'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired.
Can't think, or i'll crumble.
I'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Tired.
There are some days
when you should trust your gut intuition
turn off your phone
and stay in bed.
when you should trust your gut intuition
turn off your phone
and stay in bed.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Emancipation
I cleaned up my life, in the last month.
In the process I had to get it really dirty, very messy and for a while I was overwhelmed by the task I had ahead of me.
One more month of teenagedom month. My plans aren't crazy.
I would like to get a decent night's sleep in a less lonely bed.
I would like to study. Sounds odd, yes, but it feels like so long since I've read about something out of my own interest.
I would like to sing :) Wonderfully, this is already happening.
It feels like it's time to put my old fears, insecurities and stress to rest.
In the process I had to get it really dirty, very messy and for a while I was overwhelmed by the task I had ahead of me.
One more month of teenagedom month. My plans aren't crazy.
I would like to get a decent night's sleep in a less lonely bed.
I would like to study. Sounds odd, yes, but it feels like so long since I've read about something out of my own interest.
I would like to sing :) Wonderfully, this is already happening.
It feels like it's time to put my old fears, insecurities and stress to rest.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
An incurable romantic
It alternates between being a boon and a curse.
It means I can listen to the same songs and watch the same scenes
Over and over again
It meanst I'm in love with an ideal,
that sometimes can never come into fruition
It means disappointment sometimes
But I don't think I'd change a thing
It means forgetting myself and my lists
of endless things to do
In favour of lying on the floor to stop
and listen to a new song, or an old one
to daydream the endless possibilities
and have a little piece of hopeful fire in my heart
that can't possibly be quenched, even by the biggest hurt
To allow yourself to be moved, even in the face of cynicism and reality
I think that's a great thing.
To let your soul sing no matter the circumstances.
Because life can turn into a big to-do list, but really it's very short.
I can't believe things that I remember as yesterday actually happened a few years ago now.
And I'm surprised by how far we have come.
No matter what, though, I think the greatest thing is to say good morning to my mum on the phone, regardless of how tired I may be, and how croaky my voice often sounds. It makes me happy :)
Being hugged makes me happy. Not those mild pat on the back things, but full blown, big bear hugs.
Making people smile makes me happy too.
It means I can listen to the same songs and watch the same scenes
Over and over again
It meanst I'm in love with an ideal,
that sometimes can never come into fruition
It means disappointment sometimes
But I don't think I'd change a thing
It means forgetting myself and my lists
of endless things to do
In favour of lying on the floor to stop
and listen to a new song, or an old one
to daydream the endless possibilities
and have a little piece of hopeful fire in my heart
that can't possibly be quenched, even by the biggest hurt
To allow yourself to be moved, even in the face of cynicism and reality
I think that's a great thing.
To let your soul sing no matter the circumstances.
Because life can turn into a big to-do list, but really it's very short.
I can't believe things that I remember as yesterday actually happened a few years ago now.
And I'm surprised by how far we have come.
No matter what, though, I think the greatest thing is to say good morning to my mum on the phone, regardless of how tired I may be, and how croaky my voice often sounds. It makes me happy :)
Being hugged makes me happy. Not those mild pat on the back things, but full blown, big bear hugs.
Making people smile makes me happy too.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Good Morning.
Much happiness.
Tired, laughed out, warm happiness.
Lowering your expectations and abolishing your plans can sometimes be the best thing possible. And I'm going to sleep excited because I know tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that have wonderful things in store for me. Maybe even more wonderful than what I anticipate.
Wake up to this :) Live with as much passion you have.
<3
Tired, laughed out, warm happiness.
Lowering your expectations and abolishing your plans can sometimes be the best thing possible. And I'm going to sleep excited because I know tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that have wonderful things in store for me. Maybe even more wonderful than what I anticipate.
Wake up to this :) Live with as much passion you have.
<3
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