Delicate things.

My head, a thousand anchors
pulling me to weightlessness
intoxicated by these
wicked games, forbidden eyes
humble beginnings in darkened corridoors
dangerous exchanges through
foggy glass and footsteps

pull me in deeper, until
my tongue creeps forward with this new
thirst, breathless, shameless
and I'm kept crazy
two drops at a time,
shaking on the precipice
shattering everything, flooded with shards

close,close,closer,close.








I have what you need

A quarter to three.

Remnants of last night's lipstick
a half smile to make you swoon
the scent of mingled perfumes
and the ecstasy of freed feet
wiggling toes, hair windswept

clinging to each other
in crowded buses at midnight
falling asleep on my shoulder
enchanted by the city lights
and our beautiful, comfortable silence

GOODBYE!

OH HOW EXCITED I AM TO BE RID OF THIS TERRIBLE WEEK!

Assignment done.
Cleaned up.
Slept and ate.

(Almost) Ready to start again.

at the very least
the barest minimum
i should be honest to myself
i owe myself perhaps that much.

futility

You're such an odd thing
You crave it so much
When it comes before you,
You become anxious with fear

Dreams of lifetimes spent
Engulfed, Immersed, Full
With the feeling of it,
Wishes you could have it

But when you do
Your heart sinks, words fail
It becomes too cloying,
starts clawing away at you

You're paralysed by it
and in that very same moment
you fantasise ways, means, methods
to grasp it tight, so you can revel

So you can fall in love
With yourself again, once you find it
It's a game of desire and yearning
And chance. Playing with your fears.

It's all you need
It's all you have to ask for
It will complete you
You've known this for so long

You cower, you hide, you pretend to be invisible
It's the only thing you want, and all you are afraid of.

Year 2, Term 3, Week 5.

My body is filled
with an empty nausea
filling the abyss
where my joy once lay
It's become so commonplace
I convince myself I'm full

Lay me down softly
Wrap your hands in gloves
Slice me cleanly
in the centre, cold blue
Take everything out and start again
Realign me, push my spine
to the right, to the left
Furrowed brow and the slightest scowl
Fury at the stupidity of the thing,
rather than the untimely nature of her death

Such a preventable disease,
If only she had made the lifestyle change
To build up a wall, lock up her pericardial space
and throw away the minute key
If only all the restrictions and feedback had worked
Emotions eating away like wild enzymes
Breaking down all the supporting tissues
Leaving nothing untouched.
Your response to damage just causes more pain.

The sadness lies in chronicity
You're destroying everything
Why can't you stop, why won't you leave
Why must you persist.
Leave my body, my life, my mind
Reduced to rotting, dying, oozing flesh
and scar tissue everwhere, so I'll never be able to forget.

Guilty (and not so guilty) pleasures

1. Gelato at 9pm (despite my cough)
2. Making people laugh
3. My modelling aspirations... :P
4. Lao Tzu Quotes
'Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished'
'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage'
5. Super Bass- Nicki Minaj. It's just good, for some reason.
6. Skipping class for good conversation
7. love
8. Lame jokes
9. Leonard Cohen
'You go your way
I'll go your way too'