get lucky.

Oh Dear God Pharrell, take all my clothes off.

Not sure if he's talking shit.

But I wouldn't mind catching his mentality.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QVtHogFrI0&feature=player_embedded#!

You've got to find out for yourself, whether or not you're truly trying

It's 5:21am.

I've stayed up all night to write an essay on Film Studies.

I'm sure I'm tired, but I'm also so awake, and hungry (for breakfast, knowledge, sex, emancipation- all the usual things).

I incorrectly identified it as a constant state of loneliness last night- the fact that ultimately we all live in our own minds and are solely responsible for making desicions with the potential to harm or hinder. It's not loneliness, it's independance.

And in this world of constant communication and clarification we like to think we've worked it all out. There's skype, there's self-help online heaven and more apps than I care to count to keep us all in touch.

But how do you stay in touch with yourself? Spend some time alone. In your head. Working things out and coming to your own conclusions. Ultimately, you're the only one with any control.

Fitzy's a smart man

"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

diabolical, dialectical

love is my favourite subject
but after the dazzling heights and gut-wrenching lows
after the impracticality, the pain, the stabbing fear
the lesson that beloved in plural can cause pain,
equal to or greater than the love they give
and most probably will
shatter your world accidentally
force you to examine the parts of you that are
ugly, badly formed, poorly executed, misunderstood

nothing frightens me like love

Goddamn you were beautiful.

I'm in a foreign land, sitting in a green bus-stop, my thin coat drenched. It's raining all around me as I sit, presumably waiting for a bus. The street lights shine, a warm glow saturates the dark, cobbled street. I know I'm not home, but there's no trepidation or anxiety. I must have left everything else behind, because I have nowhere else to be.

He appears, warm eyes, short hair, solid build. He's all smiles and gentleness. We talk briefly, he asks me this and that. I reply. I flirt. His friends chuckle in the background, I know I've seen them all before. I'm so safe.


Won't you tell me your name?

Whaaat just happened?

Is it possible in life, to just mentally push a re-set button and return to the last time you felt in control, and resume from there?

It could very well be 1AM madness but I think I just did that.

I just found a crazy switch, or took the blue pill or something, because I just erased a lot of hurt. At least momentarily.

Freedom can't be a constant, if it was you wouldn't be aware of it. Freedom is sweet because it's hard to come by. It's earnt. It's the orgasm you're never guaranteed and it's gone in a flash. But if it's good the after-effects are long lasting. (Just quietly, I suspect people try to fuck for freedom, which is so ironic because ultimately it's the biggest trap).

I am going to sleep well tonight. I don't know what just happened, but it happened. I must have remembered myself and I might have remembered life. Does that sound ridiculous? It's not, I assure you. It's so easy to forget yourself and forget life. To forget why you ever bothered in the first place and fall into a pit. This is shockingly unpoetic, I apologise. Here you are, privy to my most intimate thoughts and I've failed to pretty them up for you. I even swore.

 Holy crap, what on earth happened to that girl I used to be? Goodbye current shitty black cruel world, I'm resuming happiness and I'm sure we'll comfortably slip back where we last left off.

Mr. Ocean can have some credit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynVQD-b0qX8&feature=related

What's (really) on your mind?

A punnet of strawberries and a mess of tangled limbs

Why do sad songs always play when I'm standing in the middle of a crowded aisle in Coles?
I can't cry and walk at the same time.

Always choosing the wrong one

I need to pee.

You're a fucking coward.

Where will I be 2 years from now?


You've much to lose.

Either I dig sex, or I dig you naked. I kind of hope it isn't the latter.


Where there's no struggle, there's no strength.