Is it possible in life, to just mentally push a re-set button and return to the last time you felt in control, and resume from there?
It could very well be 1AM madness but I think I just did that.
I just found a crazy switch, or took the blue pill or something, because I just erased a lot of hurt. At least momentarily.
Freedom can't be a constant, if it was you wouldn't be aware of it. Freedom is sweet because it's hard to come by. It's earnt. It's the orgasm you're never guaranteed and it's gone in a flash. But if it's good the after-effects are long lasting. (Just quietly, I suspect people try to fuck for freedom, which is so ironic because ultimately it's the biggest trap).
I am going to sleep well tonight. I don't know what just happened, but it happened. I must have remembered myself and I might have remembered life. Does that sound ridiculous? It's not, I assure you. It's so easy to forget yourself and forget life. To forget why you ever bothered in the first place and fall into a pit. This is shockingly unpoetic, I apologise. Here you are, privy to my most intimate thoughts and I've failed to pretty them up for you. I even swore.
Holy crap, what on earth happened to that girl I used to be? Goodbye current shitty black cruel world, I'm resuming happiness and I'm sure we'll comfortably slip back where we last left off.
Mr. Ocean can have some credit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynVQD-b0qX8&feature=related
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