Lead me into a thundering crescendo

Life is kicking off.

Someone handed me a pair of wings, I can't even tell you when, but I find myself attempting flight. I'm incredibly shaky... often I feel like I lose control, or my engines shut down and I come dangerously close to colliding with the stable earth.

Good music to listen to in this state of mind- Florence and the Machine (click on it! It's a link :D ). Her voice blows me away, and the melody always leads into a climax... and I swear my heart starts to beat faster and faster. In fact, I'd be willing to take out my gorgeous new Steth just to make sure :)

But anyway. There's a new crazy feeling. I think, an awareness of being alive. Not sure if this has arisen from listening to the sound of people's hearts beating... it probably has. If anything, Med has taught me just how hard our bodies work to keep us alive... so why not live?

Unfortunately there are always constraints... like duty, compromise, the need for money, not having unlimited freedom, and society's expectations. But you know what? I don't think I care. And I know, it's going to be put down to the Youth Insanity Streak, but at least when I look back, I will know I lived with passion. And I don't mean freedom in the sense where I live wild, without conscience or basic conscientiousness. My mother always told me something her father told her: Freedom does not mean freedom of the wild ass. And today perhaps I understand what that means. For me that means, it's not freedom to stay out all night, get intoxicated/high/inebriated/unconscious, challenge anything and everything because you can, or act without due thought.

It's having the luxury of time, the freedom to be anything you want to, and a chance to take the world in your hands and give it new shape. It's feeling drunk with possibility. I might be naively idealistic, but I do think our generation has the power to generate change. And I think it's important to have that hope, otherwise we may as well commit ourselves to dissatisfaction and settling for second best. Well, I say no. I don't want second-best. I want to look out the window and look into the world and feel empowered. And I may well come out on the other side, bitter and cynical. But I'll be damned if I start out that way.

Ultimately, I'm going to take a leap, and hope my wings can hold me up, long enough for me to feel what it is to Fly.

This one's for you Laura :)