Feeling Drunk With Possibility (is only good in small doses)

Having endless choices and possibilities is not necessarily a good thing.

And tonight, I figured it out. Over the past few weeks, I've been doing group work, and one of our members is this amazingly chilled-out girl who's always on top of all her work, but has a life outside of uni, and a sense of humour.

There comes a point when you reach a desicion in your life, decide to do something, and then just stick with it and do it.

And when you live alone and are responsible for yourself (which is harder than I realise), and feel drunk with possibility and want to try everything, that's hard.

But after a few weeks of putting on weight and feeling unhealthy and not sleeping and not getting enough done, I get frustrated.

So, time to try something new? Routine? Ugh. Always hated the word, it made me think my life had crossed a border and moved into Boring Lane.

But maybe if you actually get stuff done, then spontaneity and fun times can be had without guilt?

Nothing like the insane timetables I draw up and never follow (because they are devoid of fun and not humanly possible), but trying out a little bit of responsibility and finding fulfillment in the life I have ultimately chosen for myself.

Because it's sad when you have a guitar sitting alone, waiting to be played, while you sit alone, thinking of all the things you should be doing, or should have done already so you CAN play that guitar and reach new heights of musical genius. Or bake yummy things. Or call up a friend in the middle of the night to watch The Lion King, without either of you remembering your list of Things to Do that is forever growing and never being achieved.

I turn 19 in a week. Pretty sure I should get a few things up to scratch by then. Because it's hard to give the best of yourself to your relationships, and to find time to relax and have fun, if you're not giving yourself your best. We're usually so good at fulfilling our obligations to others- whether that be our student, or group members, or family, but rarely give our best for our own sake.

One week to 19... and the adventure continues... with an awesome mathematical formula:

Kavita + Med + Happiness + Amazing people - Procrastination -Uncertainty -Stress = Super times