My body is filled
with an empty nausea
filling the abyss
where my joy once lay
It's become so commonplace
I convince myself I'm full
Lay me down softly
Wrap your hands in gloves
Slice me cleanly
in the centre, cold blue
Take everything out and start again
Realign me, push my spine
to the right, to the left
Furrowed brow and the slightest scowl
Fury at the stupidity of the thing,
rather than the untimely nature of her death
Such a preventable disease,
If only she had made the lifestyle change
To build up a wall, lock up her pericardial space
and throw away the minute key
If only all the restrictions and feedback had worked
Emotions eating away like wild enzymes
Breaking down all the supporting tissues
Leaving nothing untouched.
Your response to damage just causes more pain.
The sadness lies in chronicity
You're destroying everything
Why can't you stop, why won't you leave
Why must you persist.
Leave my body, my life, my mind
Reduced to rotting, dying, oozing flesh
and scar tissue everwhere, so I'll never be able to forget.
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