Nobody to blame.

It's just emotions
taking me over
I'm caught up in sorrow
lost in the song.
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight?
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.

At the risk of sounding controversial, I think women universally have one severe problem.
It's a curse disguised as a gift.
We're ridiculously emotional.

Obviously, this is a generalisation, but it's ubiquitous enough.

Goddamn we waste so much time talking about this shit. I mean really, who ever saw a bunch of guys sit and discuss how they feel about their relationships, or family, or individual progress over a cup of coffee. They don't, and that's why they're more successful, and probably more secure.

Men have a greater propensity and tenacity to chase their dreams and happiness without having to have the same level of consideration for the people around them. It's the straight truth.

In the meantime, smart girls, like me, sit around thinking about their futures, their love lives and taking care of their parents. The woman's role, right? To be nuturing and caring and take on all the worries of the people around them? To be patient, to make sacrifices. Here's an interesting fact. I read an article about physicians who marry physicians. No surprises, but the female doctors who married other doctors felt they had not been as successful in their careers. The men reported no difference. The only real positive was that both men and women reported less financial stress.

It's staring us in the face. We worry, check our phones, check our emails, hope for the best for everybody else. I realised, had things been different when I finished year 12 I would have potentially handed over dux to my ex-boyfriend. How stupid is that! The same ex-boyfriend who accused me of being too career oriented when I was 16... I worked at a noodle bar at the time.

And the irritating thing, the really, down-right annoying and frustrating thing is that objectively, smart guys drool over the smart, ambitious, hot, independant girls. They flirt with them, they talk about them. But when it comes to crunch- they don't want the same thing for their own women. Go figure?

At the end of the day, we can't blame men (any more). We can't blame society, or the education system, or our parents, because we know better. We could blame Disney... but we're not 5 any more. So GOODBYE to the promise of Prince Charming, to the promise of Happily Ever After and to the stupidity of succumbing to our emotions. There has to be balance and strength.

We have to be able to stand on our own feet, be logical, and live with confidence, dignity and clarity. Otherwise all of this has been for nothing.

I found a quote I liked:
Don't wish me happiness - I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor - I will need them all.